Ward No. 3 - The Lunatic Asylum

  Doctor - Vindana
  Doctor's wife - Samitha
  Bus Driver - Namal
  Bus Conductor - Lakmal
  Doctor's Assistant - Lochana
  Lunatic (Pissa 1) - Dasun
  Lunatic - Coursework (Pissa 2) - Ranga
  Ward Keeper (Bulath Hapaya) - Aruna
  Lunatic - Internet (Pissa 3) - Tharaka
  Female Lunatic (Pissi) - Rasara
  Lunatic - Computer (Pissa 4) - Tharana
  Nurse - Muthuni

Note: Translated from Sinhala by the Editor from the script provided by Level 2 EE students.
You may be find some interesting interpretations by bringing the mouse over some bold terms.

(The stage play begins with the stage set as the Doctor's House.  Doctor appears singing a song and straightening his tie.  A little while later
the Doctor's wife makes her appearance.)
Doctor: Good Morning wifee .....!
Doctor's wife: Why are you always going to the Mad House to treat the lunatics ?
Doctor: That's my job no...  It gives me great satisfaction to work with these eccentric men.
Doctor's wife: But don't we also need to have a private life!
Doctor: Yes..Yes what do you suggest we do.
Doctor's wife: Let us go this evening and see a film.
Doctor: Yes. okay..okay.  What is the film that we are going to see.
Doctor's wife: atha-arapang vanacharaya"Go to Hell!! you pervert"
Doctor: I have lived with you for so long !  Is this how you treat me !
Doctor's wife: (wife tries to calm him) No..No..  What I said is that the name of the film is  "Go to Hell! you pervert"
Doctor: Okay then.  We will see the film in the evening. I will go and come. Bye ---! cu--
Doctor's wife: Bye ---!
(The scene changes to that of a Bus Stop)
Doctor: I am at the bus halt and there is no bus yet.
(He sees a bus approaching from the distance)
Doctor: Ah! I see an AC luxury bus.  How big it is !!!!  It has a destination board ENTC.  Let's see whether I can get into it.  He puts out his hand to stop the bus.
(The bus passes him without stopping.  He is very angry)
Doctor: I don't want it...I don't want it...Go...Go...!!! Inside that bus there are only steps.  I will go mad climbing the stairs.
(He sees another bus approaching from the distance)
Doctor: Ah! I see another bus. ...It seems like a Semi Luxury.  It has a destination board CSE. Stop! Stop! .  He puts out his hand to stop the bus.
(This bus too passes him without stopping.  He is very, very angry)
Doctor: I don't want it...I don't want it...Go...Go...!!! Inside that bus is empty.
(Later an almost broken-down bus is seen the distance approaching very slowly)
Doctor: It looks like a bus approaching.  It has an EE board on it.
Bus Conductor: ...Come!!...Come!!.. Measurement, Machines, Measurements, Machines .... (Then seeing the Doctor) - Where are you going ?.... Come!! come!! there is plenty of space in this... (Doctor boards the bus, The conductor looks back)  .... The Mechanical bus is behind us, its catching up... Brother driver quickly accelerate...  (However the bus takes off from the bus stop only very slowly
(The Scene changes to that of the garden of the Lunatic Asylum)
Pissa 1 (comes to the stage singing) "Parakum Yugayak, ...."
Pissa 2 Who are the lunatics shouting in the distance...
Pissa 1 Do not worry about them.  Let us pluck a fruit from this tree. (The two of them looks towards a tree and sits down)
Pissa 2 Why are those madmen looking at you and smiling.  Maybe it is the way you are sitting down. (Embarrassed, Pissa 1 adjusts his sarong)
Pissa 1 It is good this way.
Pissa 2 Good! Good! How many fruits do we need to pluck ?
Pissa 1 About 22.5 fruits.
Pissa 2 What !! are their half fruits also?
Pissa 1 In this asylum, all the work is done only halfway.  So why not 0.5.
Pissa 2 We need to somehow pluck both those bunches of five fruits we see up there.
Pissa 1 Then we also need 2 bunches of 2.5 fruits from those partially hidden fruits.
Pissa 2 Yes we have to.
Pissa 1 What about those 2 golden fruits high up there.
Pissa 2 We will have to consult the doctor about those.
(The Doctor appears on stage)
Doctor: Even today two lunatics have got out...
Pissa 1 Doctor ! Can't we get two of those sweet fruits that we see up there ?
Doctor: OK...OK..Ah... No...! No...! No...! you can't ...!
Son. From the 100 in Ward 1 only 33 can, and from our ward of 50 only 17 can.
Pissa 2 Then what about the middle ward ?
Doctor: Ah.. Each of them can pluck 2 of those fruits...  Son.  It is their own.
Pissa 2 Why is it like that !!
Pissa 1 Doctor.  We will pluck these 22.5 fruits and put them into one basket and bring them to you.  Is that good or bad.  Otherwise tell us what new fruit to pluck.
Doctor: It is fine with me.  I am going now.
Pissa 2 OK doctor. You can go.  (Doctor leaves the stage)
(The Ward Keeper Bulath Hapaya, appears on stage chewing betel.  The two lunatics, seeing him gets anxious.  Bulath Hapaya seeing them, comes towards them)
Pissa 1 (talking to Pissa 2) Bulath Hapaya is coming.
Bulath Hapaya Are you chatting ? ...... See the time now... Don't we have to go home ? ....This is closed at 7.30....  We also have homes....go...go
Pissa 2 If we do not pick the fruits now are you going to let up pick your fruits ?
Bulath Hapaya Wait!!.....I will tell the chief doctor. (Saying that he leaves the stage.  The two lunatics also leave the stage.)
(The Scene changes to that of the Doctor's consultation room)
Doctor's Assistant: (Doctor's assistant appears on the stage reading a prescription) Appa! How difficult it is to become a senior doctor...It is necessary to memorize the prescriptions... It is necessary to ask the lunatics question by question... Let us see a little whether we can get used to asking questions...Isn't it... so isn't it...so that...(saying that he gets trained)
Doctor's Assistant: (Doctor appears on stage) Good Morning Doctor ...
Doctor: Good Morning! Assistant.. How many patients do we have today? ...
Doctor's Assistant: 4 dangerous lunatics are out there.
Doctor: Is that so ? (sitting down) Then bring them one by one for me to see....
Doctor's Assistant: Nurse.. Bring the first patient.  (Nurse brings the first lunatic)
(The lunatic appears on stage gazing at the same direction with batting an eyelid.  The sits him down in a chair)
Doctor: (Although the doctor talks to the lunatic, he gets no response. Then turning towards the Assistant)  What has happened to him?...
Doctor's Assistant: (Looking at the patient's record sheet) Ah... Sir, He has accidentally gone to our computer lab.
Doctor: There is nothing wrong with that ...
Doctor's Assistant: No Sir ... He has tried to go to the Internet from there...
Doctor: (Surprised) Our computers are there for them to go to the Internet.
Doctor's Assistant: No Sir. He has typed a website address into one of the computers.... For the webpage to appear he is waiting ... waiting ... waiting ... The webpage is not coming...  He is still waiting for it come and that is why he appears to be as if he waiting to devour you.
Doctor: Yes that is so ... A wrong has been done ... In that ward, it does not come...
Doctor's Assistant: Why sir. This happened to one of my friends also.  He has tried to switch ON a computer in our lab that was OFF.
Doctor: Then what happened ?
Doctor's Assistant: That man, for the computer to Boot is waiting ... waiting ... It is not booting.
Doctor: Poor chap!  We will send this Pissa to the nearest Internet Cafe.
Doctor's Assistant: Next we has a Pissi.
Doctor: Good.  Send her in. (Nurse brings the Pissi in and sits her down) Do you have a problem ?
Pissi: No I do not have a problem ...
Doctor: (Doctor looking at the assistant) If she says there is no problem, what is the problem ?
Doctor's Assistant: (Assistant looking at the Doctor) Sir ... She has gone after that fat pissa in ward 01.
Pissi (Pissi gets up in a rage) He is not a lunatic. (Assistant calms her down and gets her to sit down)
Doctor: Ah.. This is a problem of Love isn't it ?  Daughter, what is the problem ? Do his parents like you ?
Pissi: They all like me a lot.
Doctor: Then what about his brothers and sisters ?
Pissi: They like me very much.
Doctor: Then does he like you ?
Pissi: (with a loving smile) He likes me a very great deal.
Doctor: Then what is the problem ?
Pissi: (sadly) His girl friend! She does not like me.. (she cries)
Doctor: Assistant. Shall we put her in a different ward ? (Saying this, Pissi is removed from the stage)
Doctor: Bring the next patient in... 
Pissa 3 (lunatic enters in a manner which suggests that he is typing on a keyboard ... muttering to himself) This row is right .... This row is also correct ...  Why is it not compiling .... There cannot be a Runtime error ...!  (starts to shout getting up) Where is my Java book ? (assistant gets him seated once again in  the chair)
Doctor: (Doctor looking at the assistant) What is his problem ?
Doctor's Assistant: He wants to go to the middle ward.... How can he go there ?  There is only space for 50 ... He wants to go there ...!
Doctor: Now Son, do you want to go to the middle ward.
Pissa 3 (Surprised) I am already there ...
Doctor: Ah...okay...okay.. We will allow him to get those 2 optional fruits.
Pissa 3 Two ! I want it all.
Doctor: Ah.. okay...okay... Take him away Assistant (Later Pissa 3 is taken out of the stage)
Doctor: Then Assistant, bring in the fourth person.
Doctor's Assistant: Doctor, he is the most dangerous! be careful !
Doctor: (pushing the chair near him further away) Ah... Ah... Is that so ? Then let us examine him.
Pissa 4 (drawing rectangles, lines, comes to the stage. Sits down near the doctor and continues to draw rectangles and lines)
Doctor: Son, why are you drawing these lines !
Pissa 4 (signaling to stop talking)
Doctor: What ? What has happened to him!
Doctor's Assistant: This is what has happened.  This devil has for these last 3 months has to give 25 coursework.  Last week he had to give 15 and he had given them all.
Doctor: That's good.  (Turning towards Pissa 4) Good boy ! Now you do not have a problem ?
Doctor's Assistant: This is it sir.  This devil has written 5 coursework entirely on his own.
Doctor: Isn't that good!
Doctor's Assistant: But sir, now he has got the lowest marks for those 5.  He has good marks for all the 100 he has copied.  That is why he has gone mad.
Pissa 4 But this coursework writing has a bit of status.  Now it gives me great satisfaction doing them.
Doctor: That's not the way Son, now stop doing it. I will give you a job really relevant to the course.  Now this hospital is there, isn't it Son ?
Pissa 4 Yes. Its its kept well ...
Doctor: Now Son, this hospital is having a trip !
Pissa 4 Shah! Fine Sir, Is it to Anuradhapura ? Polonnaruwa ? ... We are also coming.
Doctor: No, no, no... That's not it son.  That RCCB, that Residual Current Circuit Breaker, if it rains tuck... tick... ! a lot of nuisance.  Son can you fix that ?  We are in Ward 3, Son.  We should be able to repair these ..!!
Pissa 4 Sir, did't you say that it goes off during the rain ?
Doctor: Yes, yes son, if the drop of rain comes down from top to the floor it is "tuck", if it from the floor upwards, it is "tock"
Pissa 4 In that case what the hell are you telling me this for ? Go and tell it to the Meteorological department.
Doctor: That not the thing son, we must somehow try and ... try and... (at that moment the light go out on stage) There, son did you see that it went out as you were saying ?  We must at least repair it now.  We are in Ward 3 ...
Pissa 4 Sir, now that the light has gone, it is dark in here. Should have brought the Lecture notes - even that is in the Boarding.  If Sir really wants, when there is light in there at mid-day, I will look at the notes and see how to repair it. I am going now.... Tata ....!